Redemption
by Summer Silverquill
Summary: After Sunnydale is destroyed, Buffy can't seem to move on with her life. A phone call to Angel in the middle of the night could change everything for her.
1. Chapter 1

_**Chapter 1: Waiting**_

Buffy tossed and turned in her bed, plagued by the usual nightmares of Sunnydale's destruction. In her dream, the world was crumbling around her, slayers dying, people screaming, but all she could see was Spike. He was engulfed in a cold flame, laughing maniacally as the fire consumed him. Replaying over in her head was her simple statement "I love you" and his reply "No you don't, but thanks for saying it". In her heart, Buffy believed that Spike knew how she felt, regardless of her words and actions. Unfortunately, those three little words fell short a bit late. She awoke in a cold sweat, her heart pounding, with tears streaming down her face.

Now fully awake, Buffy climbed out of bed and stumbled to her bathroom to wash her face. She ran the cool water in the sink, and it felt wonderful on her hot skin, washing away the residue of her bad dreams. She sat down on the floor beside the big garden tub and cried, as she did every morning, washed her face a second time, and went downstairs to make herself a cup of hot cocoa.

As Buffy made her way towards the kitchen, she thought she heard hushed voices and giggling. She smiled, momentarily forgetting that Dawn now lived with their father across town in a big, comfy townhouse so she could attend school in a nicer district. When she pushed open the old fashioned swinging door, it wasn't Dawn she found in the kitchen. Instead, she found Xander and Willow locked in a very passionate kiss, leaned against the big island in the middle of the room. Rather than embarrass them, she simply turned, completely shocked, and went into Giles' office to think.

The prophecy of the vampire with a soul had been very much at the front of her mind in the four months since Sunnydale was swallowed up into a hole in the Earth, and without really thinking, she picked up the phone and dialed. A very familiar voice answered the phone "Wolfram and Hart, Angel's office." Cordelia voice was such a comfort. One of the few people from her old life that still made real sense to her. "Hi Cordelia. It's Buffy. Is Angel available to talk?" Buffy asked, trying to sound more cheerful than she felt. "Hi Buffy. He's free. Is everything alright? It's like, two in the morning." Cordelia said with just a hint of concern. "Fine. Couldn't be better." Buffy replied, wishing that Cordelia wasn't being so nice for once so she would just put Angel on the phone. "Ok. Let me get him for you." Cordelia said before putting her on hold.

After just a moment that felt like forever, Angel's deep, soothing voice answered "Buffy. What a nice surprise. How are you?" he asked, leaning back in his chair. "I've been thinking about the prophecy, Angel. I know that you researched it thoroughly when you thought it was about you, so I need to know what you know. I have to know." Buffy said, feeling the desperation rising. "Look, I don't know much myself, just that there is a ritual to bring back the Vampire with a soul who sacrifices himself for the sake of the world. As far as I could decipher, that Vampire gets to come back as a human. Fred's been researching it heavily, and she thinks she may have found the ritual, but I don't know. Are you alright? You sound terrible." Angel said, speaking quickly as he always did when he was worried. "I miss him, Angel. It's killing me inside. I can't eat, when I sleep I have nightmares. All I ever do anymore is cry and hide in my room."

Angel felt for her. He had once felt that way about her. It kicked his ass that it was Spike she was in love with, but he wanted her to be happy, even though it would have to be with someone besides him. "I tell you what, I will have Fred get everything she has on the prophecy and the ritual together so that you and Willow and Giles can look at it. I think Giles could figure it all out in no time. Give me a couple of days?" Angel asked, wishing he could be there to comfort her, to hold her, to dry her tears. "Thank you Angel. This means everything to me." Buffy said softly, also wishing that she could be in Angel's arms. He always gave the best hugs. "I'll have it in 48 hours or less, Buffy. I promise you." Angel said before hanging up.

For the first time in months, Buffy had something to hang onto - hope. So she went back into the kitchen to talk to Willow. Well, at least they weren't kissing anymore. Now they were just sitting at the counter talking. "Oh, hey Buffy." Willow said brightly as Buffy walked into the room. "Hey Will. What's new?" Buffy asked, obviously sounding like she felt better. "Well, Xander and I have something to share with you." Willow looked at Xander smiling, and he smiled back at her. "We decided to start seeing each other, you know, in a boyfriend and girlfriend sort of way." Xander said, putting his arm around Willow's shoulder. Buffy flashed them a brilliant smile "Wow, guys...that's um, awesome" she said brightly. She was genuinely happy for them. She had always wondered why they had denied their feelings for each other for so long.

"So how about some hot chocolate to celebrate?" Willow asked, still grinning like the Cheshire Cat. "That's exactly what I came in here for. Sounds great." Buffy said. Her conversation with Angel was still replaying in her mind and she was finding it hard to concentrate on Willow's excited banter. At some point, Xander hugged her and they had a brief conversation about him being so happy. At around four, their doorbell rang, and Buffy said "That's not creepy at all" as she ran to see who was visiting them so late. Looking through the peephole, she saw Fred standing on the doorstep clutching a large file box. Buffy opened the door and said "Hi Fred! What brings you here so late...or is it early?" "Hi Buffy. I wanted to drop off the information that Angel had me assemble for you." Fred's crisp English accent reminded Buffy so much of Giles sometimes. Taking the box, Buffy set it on the floor right inside the door. "I don't know what to say, Fred. Thank you just doesn't seem like enough. You really didn't have to come out so late." Buffy said, trying to convey how grateful she really was. Fred just smiled "Look, I know how it feels to lose the person you love the most. This presented the perfect opportunity to help you get William back. Maybe you won't have to live with the heartache for much longer. I believe Rupert will be able to explain everything to you, and Willow has enough experience to pull the ritual off without a hitch."

Buffy hugged Fred and whispered "Thank you" over and over. Fred stepped back and smiled, brushing a stray tendril of hair from Buffy's eyes "You're welcome. Call me if you need help with any of this Buffy. Good luck." she said, turning on her heel and retreating to the town car that waited at the end of the walk. After closing and locking the door, Buffy picked up the box with the intention of taking it to the library to start researching the materials. As she turned around, she found Willow and Xander standing together at the foot of the stairs, just observing. "Hi guys." Buffy said, searching their faces for some clue as to how long they'd been standing there. "So, what's going on Buff? It's not every day we get visitors bearing boxes at four in the morning." Xander said, eyeing the box. "Yeah, come to the library and I'll explain everything." Buffy said. Willow and Xander followed her into the library and closed the door behind them.

In London, Giles was attending a very boring Watcher's seminar. Everywhere he looked there were drab people in drab clothes droning on about drab subjects. You could tell a Watcher everything you thought they'd ever need to know, but until they actually experienced it, it was meaningless. Watcher's aren't born, they are made. It drove Giles crazy to have to sit for hours on end listening to symposiums on things he'd been doing for years. He would much rather be back in California, listening to Buffy and Willow giggle and girl talk while they researched various demons and entities. He longed to sit in the garden out back and sip tea while Dawn discussed the finer points of how bad living with her father sucked. Finally, on the 4th day of the seminar, he couldn't take anymore. After a rather heated discussion with the president of the Watcher's council, he was allowed to leave. He called Buffy and let her know that he would be arriving at the airport somewhere around three o'clock the following afternoon and asked that Xander meet him at the gate.

"Giles has perfect timing!" Buffy said, hanging up the phone. It was almost sunrise, and she, Willow, and Xander had been pouring over the prophecy to make sure that it was indeed about Spike. "I would say that this is definitely about Spike. He fulfilled every single one of the prophecy's requirements." Willow said, absolutely certain that she was right. If she'd learned nothing else from Giles, it was how to read and decipher the ancient texts. "I hope you're right Willow. My sanity depends on it." Buffy said smiling. She trusted Willow. Xander laid the file he had in his hand aside and stood up to yawn and stretch. "Well, I'm off to bed. I have to get some sleep before I go get Giles tomorrow, and if I know you ladies, and I do, I'll be up all night again." He bent to give Willow a quick kiss then headed to bed.

"You should probably get some rest Buffy. The next few days are going to be kind of crazy." Willow said, rubbing her eyes. "You're right, Will. I think I'm going to call it a night." Buffy replied. She gave her bestie a big hug before climbing the stairs to her room. She was asleep in no time, and for the first time in months, she didn't have any nightmares. Spike sat in her window, watching her sleep as he'd done every night. She was so beautiful. He missed the smell of her skin, the silky feel of her hair, the sweetness of her kisses. He would give anything to be able to hold her one last time. Suddenly, he had an idea. He went over and sat beside her on the bed. Focusing all of his energy, he leaned to whisper in her ear "Hello pet." he said. Buffy smiled in her sleep "Hey" she murmured. "I love you Buffy." Spike whispered against her ear "I love you too." she replied. Gathering up the remainder of his strength, he placed one kiss on her lips and vanished.

Buffy sat bolt upright in bed. She scrambled to turn on the bedside lamp and looked around, but she was alone. "I could have sworn..." she said, thinking that Spike had been there with her. She could smell him, and licking her lips to wet them, she could taste him. "It's not possible..." So much for sleep. She laid in bed, trying in vain to doze back off into a sweet dream that just wouldn't come back.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Preparing**

Willow knocked lightly on Buffy's bedroom door, not wanting to shock her out of her sleep. When she didn't get an answer, Willow opened the door to find Buffy asleep in the overstuffed chair in the corner of her room. As she approached her sleeping friend, she realized that what she'd first taken to be a blanket covering Buffy was actually Spike's leather duster. That's when it struck Willow that the reason for Buffy's depression might not be Sunnydale sinking into the Hellmouth. It was Spike. Willow suddenly felt like a real jerk for all the hell she'd given Buffy about Spike. She reached out and touched Buffy's shoulder. She was smiling in her sleep, and looked totally relaxed for the first time in almost a year. "Buffy, it's time to get up. We have to go pick Giles up from the airport." Willow said. Slowly, Buffy opened her eyes, still smiling. "Is it that late, Will?" she asked, sitting up to stretch. She looked at the jacket that covered her and started to say something but Willow cut her off "Buffy, I owe you an apology." Buffy looked confused "For what?" she asked, laying the jacket aside as she stood. "I guess we never realized that for all his um, unique qualities, Spike was always there for you when we should have been but weren't. We were so busy 'protecting' you that we didn't stop to think about your feelings. You loved him, didn't you?" Willow asked, suddenly finding the pattern in the carpet extremely interesting.

Buffy nodded "I did, but I never said anything to you guys or him. I kept it to myself because I knew you didn't approve." she said, smiling bitterly. "But the past is the past. Maybe this ritual will work and we'll get a second chance. Or maybe I'm just not meant to be happy, Will. I don't know. I'll be down in a few." Willow nodded and left the room. Once Willow was gone, Buffy picked up Spike's jacket and buried her face in the soft leather, inhaling Spike's scent. God, how she missed him. Glancing at the clock, she laid the jacket out on her bed because she couldn't bear to put it in the closet out of sight, and hurried to get ready to leave.

Half an hour later, the gang was on their way to pick Giles up from the airport. The ride was quiet and strained, with Willow feeling extremely guilty, Buffy feeling rather depressed, and Xander just plain confused. The ride home was much more lively. "It is so good to be back in California. I had forgotten how terribly dull Londoners can be." Giles said as he hugged everyone before heading to the baggage line. Soon, they were on their way back to the enormous manor house, where they would show Giles all the information that Fred had compiled and see if the ritual was even possible.

Buffy gave Giles time to get unpacked and have dinner before following him into his office. "Giles, can I talk to you for a minute?" she asked, plopping down in one of the chairs in front of his desk. "Of course Buffy. What is it?" Giles asked, pushing his glasses up on his nose the way he always did when he shifted from Watcher to father figure. "It's about Spike. I, um...well he's been visiting me." Buffy said, not quite sure how to broach the subject. "What do you mean, visiting you? Spike died with Sunnydale, Buffy." Giles spoke gently, walking around to sit on the edge of his desk. "I know, but he's a ghost now or something and he comes and talks to me at night when I'm asleep." Buffy said, knowing how ridiculous she probably sounded. She was sure that Giles was going to go into a talk about how it was just wishful thinking on her part, or something like that. Instead, he said "Well, there is the prophecy. Perhaps that is something we should examine a bit closer." Buffy breathed a sigh of relief. Now she could tell him about her conversation with Angel and the resulting visit from Fred. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about, Giles. I called Angel and asked him for everything he had on the prophecy, since he wanted to know if it was about him. He sent Fred over with a huge box of research. We went over it last night, and Willow is pretty sure that she can perform the ritual that will bring Spike back, but we're going to need your help." There. She said it. Now to wait for Giles' response.

Giles took his glasses off and rubbed the bridge of his nose. Putting his glasses back on, he took a seat in the chair beside Buffy's and put a hand on her shoulder. "I will do whatever I can to help you Buffy, you know that. You also know that there are no guarantees in magick, but there are innumerable variables. I just...don't want you to get your hopes up too high" he said in that fatherly tone that he had adopted over the years. Buffy smiled up at him "Thanks Giles. We set all the information up in the library. It's there whenever you get ready to look at it." she said, getting up from her chair. "Oh, one last thing Buffy." Giles said as she reached for the door handle. Buffy turned around "I ran into Riley in London. He asked me to say hello to you for whatever reason. Don't shoot the messenger." Buffy flashed him one of her award winning smiles "Don't worry, I kind of like the messenger" she said as the flounced out of the room.

In the library, Willow and Xander were having a hard time concentrating on their research. It was a miracle they were keeping their hands on the books and off of each other. Since they'd decided to try out being in a relationship they had managed to keep it down to just kissing, but neither of them were quite sure how long they were going to be able to control themselves. Willow wanted to abstain merely because she was sure it would be wrong to be all blissful and kissy-faced in front of Buffy. For Xander, it was a simple case of 'no means no'. He was reaching for her hand across the library table when Giles walked in. "Oh, hello you two. Are you researching the prophecy and ritual?" he asked, coming to stand behind Xander's chair so he could get a look at the materials he was reading. "Yes. That is what we're doing. Research." Xander said nervously. Why they thought Giles would be disapproving of their relationship was a mystery to them both. They were adults, and had been best friends since kindergarten, so what difference did it make, right? Picking up the book containing the ritual, Giles took a seat in the chair across from Willow. The farther along he read, more he nodded and made little sounds. "What do you think Giles? Can we really do this for Buffy?" Willow asked, confident that the ritual would be a piece of cake for a girl who had basically mastered magic at it's most difficult. "Well, I think it's certainly possible, Willow. With your advanced skill and knowledge, it's safe to assume that there is no reason why we couldn't successfully bring William back to the world of the living. Although the timing for the ritual is extremely specific. See here? It says the ritual must be done on the second night of the full moon beginning no more and no less than a quarter to the witching hour and ending no sooner and no later than the witching hour itself."

Willow nodded. She had already read the ritual, tracked the date on her calendar, and gone to the magic store for all of her supplies. All that was left was to wait the seventy two hours for the full moon. She wanted so much to be able to pull this ritual off for Buffy. She felt like she owed her at least that much. "Let's make it a surprise, Giles! Let's tell her that it can't be done until next month, which will be the night of the lunar eclipse. Then, when Spike shows up all unexpectedly, she'll be all surprised and happy!" Willow exclaimed excitedly. Xander smiled "That is a wonderful idea, Will. Exactly how do you propose to get Buffy out of the house from eleven thirty to twelve thirty?" he asked, curious. "Oh, well maybe you could take her to a movie, or or to that club like the Bronze. I don't know. That will be your job, Xander. I'm putting it in your capable hands." Willow said, giving Giles a wink.

Buffy sat in the courtyard on the swing. She missed Sunnydale. She missed her house and the familiar graveyards and parks. Mostly, she missed Spike and her mother. Dawn rarely came over anymore. When she did, she spent all of her time fussing at Buffy for not keeping up with her hair, or complaining about their father's rules. Buffy would have just been happy to sit and talk about school, or boys, or go out for coffee. She really just wanted to spend some quality time with her little sister, and maybe, if he could pry himself away from his much younger new wife, spend an hour with her father. A cool breeze picked up and Buffy shivered in her thin tee shirt. It was only September, but already the weather was becoming unseasonably cool. Closing her eyes, she wrapped her arms around herself and pretended just for a moment that it was Spike's arms around her, protecting her, keeping her safe and warm like he'd always done. Just for a moment, she swore she could smell his cologne, and the faintest hint of cigarette smoke...

(3 Days Later) Willow and Xander had everything prepared in the huge attic. All that was left was for Xander to go propose an evening out to Buffy and hope she accepted. He found her in the kitchen, sitting at the table reading a book and sipping hot cocoa. "Hey Buff." he said cheerfully, pulling out a chair on the other side of the small table. She looked up and smiled "Hey. Want some cocoa? I made enough for everybody." she said, closing her book and laying it aside. "Actually, I had a couple of tickets to that new werewolf movie and well, for the obvious reasons, Willow doesn't want to go. I was kind of hoping you'd go with me. I'll even pay for the popcorn and drinks." he said, turning on that Xander Harris charm. Buffy smiled. She pretended to think about it for a minute then said "I guess I could go. It's not like I have to patrol tonight or anything. Do I have time to make myself presentable?" she asked. Xander's face lit up in a huge grin "Sure. The movie starts at eleven. You have plenty of time. Just let me know when you're ready. Oh, if you want, we could leave early and go by that burger place Dawn likes. You know, the one over by the over priced comic book store?" he asked. Buffy giggled "I know the one. That sounds great. I'll go get ready." she said, setting her cup in the sink.

Once Buffy and Xander cleared out, Willow and Giles met in his office to go over the ritual one more time. Willow had her timing down perfectly, and Giles was proud of her. She was determined to bring Spike back no matter the cost, and he had no doubt in his mind that if anyone could do it, Willow could. It was a one person ritual, and he didn't need to oversee her, but he wanted to be there just in case. Willow agreed that she always felt much more confident when he was with her, keeping watch in case she made a mistake. If the ritual failed, they really would have to wait another month to try it again, and Willow didn't think her heart could take another month of watching Buffy being so miserable. "Well, are you ready, Willow? It's eleven thirty. Perhaps we should go up and do one last check to make sure that everything is in place?" Giles asked, looking at his pocket watch. "I'm as ready as I'll ever be." Willow said, taking a deep breath and slowly exhaling. She had dressed in her favorite Wiccan robes. They were a deep, rich burgundy silk that was so comfortable, it was like wearing nothing at all. Tara had bought them for her and they were one of her most treasured possessions. She and Giles walked up to the attic and went over the necessary items and ingredients one last time before lighting the candles so Willow could cast her circle of protection and begin the ritual.

In the movie theater, Buffy and Xander were having a blast. The movie was much scarier then either of them had thought it would be and time after time, Buffy found herself squealing and grabbing Xander's arm. Of course, Xander didn't mind - he'd always wished that Buffy would see him as a protective, manly kind of guy, and now was his chance to shine. When the movie was about half over, Xander sneaked a look at his watch. It was almost a quarter past midnight. Willow should be finished with the spell, and waiting on the results. He hoped that she would text or call him on his cell phone if anything happened before they got back to the manor. For the rest of the movie, Xander was tense but he tried to relax and have fun anyway. "Oh my god, this movie is awesome, Xander. Thanks for inviting me." Buffy said, smiling. Xander's heart did a little flip-flop in his chest. Buffy hadn't smiled like that in a very long time, and it made him feel special that he was the one who caused it. "You're welcome. I'm glad you came with me. You wanna go do something else after the movie?" he asked. Buffy thought for a moment "No, I'm pretty wiped out. I haven't really been sleeping well. We should probably go home after this." she said. Actually, she wasn't the least bit sleepy, she just didn't want Willow to think that there was anything going on between her and Xander. Willow had waited a very long time to be with him, and she'd had to watch as he dated Cordelia, almost married Anya, and drooled over Buffy for years. No, going home was a good idea. "Sure. I had a great time though. Maybe next time we go to a movie Willow will come along." Xander said cheerfully.

When they arrived back at the manor, the house was dark. No one seemed to be awake or moving around. Buffy went into the kitchen to grab her book. Reading seemed to be a pretty good escape from the mundane and she wondered why she'd never tried it before. Xander went up to find Willow and ask how the ritual had gone. Buffy found Willow first. She was in the library pouring over the prophecy books with Giles, comparing notes and asking pointed questions. When she walked in, they both looked up "Oh hi Buffy! How was the movie?" Willow asked, setting her book aside. Buffy smiled and sat down "It was so scary! I didn't think that werewolves could be so, I don't know, violent. Xander liked it though." she shrugged. Willow laughed "Leave it Xander to pick the absolute least girly movie in the theater. Well, I think we have this ritual worked out, Buffy. We can do it next month on the full moon." she said. Willow was notorious for being a bad liar, but she knew that Buffy would believe her when it came to magic.

"Awesome! That gives me a month to get my hair done, and my eyebrows, and maybe buy some halfway decent clothes." Buffy said. Creeping crud! Willow hadn't even thought that Buffy might need some preparation time before Spike came back. Well, with any luck, it would take his body another day or so to re-knit and reunite with his soul. "You know Buffy, we should go to the salon tomorrow. Maybe go shopping too. I know I could use a couple of new um, outfits myself." Willow offered, now praying that Spike's return could be delayed. "Sure! I'm always up for the salon and shopping." Buffy replied. She hopped up out of the chair she'd been sitting in and went towards the door. "I'm off to bed you guys. See you in the morning!" she said as she left the room and headed up to bed. Willow looked and Giles and breathed a sigh of relief "Thank the Goddess she bought it. Guess I should go to bed too. I know how Buffy shops" she said, closing the spell book. Upstairs, Xander was preparing for a little ritual of his own, no magic necessary. Being at the movies with Buffy had him in a romantic mood, so he went around the room, lighting little scented tea candles on the dresser and tables. It wasn't long before Willow opened the door to her bedroom, ready for sleep. When she saw all the candles, and Xander sitting on the foot of the bed looking rather nervous, she smiled. "What's all this?" she asked, looking around the room one more time. "I thought it was time we made a little magic of our own." Xander said, getting up to take Willow in his arms for a very hot kiss. Willow looked into his eyes and whispered "I think that is a very good idea."

Up in the attic, something was stirring. Spike's soul, which was what everyone was assuming was his ghost, sat in the middle of Willow's circle, waiting impatiently for his body to join him. He was not exactly how this was supposed to work, but he really wanted it to. He'd always respected Red, and her experience with magic. She'd never had a spell fail or go wrong, at least recently, so he had faith that the spell had worked, he just wished it would hurry. He was trapped inside the circle and couldn't leave until body and soul were joined, and he was getting bored. Spike wanted to be in Buffy's room, watching her sleep. He wanted to breathe in her scent, touch her hair, kiss her lips, but he couldn't do it from there. Patience was never his strong point, but he knew that in order to be with Buffy again for real, he'd have to wait it out. So he did what he always did when he was bored, he sang.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: What is that awful noise?**

Up in her room, Buffy lay in bed, trying to imagine what she would say to Spike when she saw him again. I'm sorry just didn't seem to cover it, and self-deprecating humor just wasn't her. When she couldn't figure out what to say, she decided to think about how she would have her hair done, and what new clothes she would buy on her shopping trip with Willow the next day. She was almost asleep, with visions of sexy new shoes dancing through her head when she heard a sound she could not identify. Curious, she got out of bed and reached into her bedside table for Mr. Pointy, her favorite stake. Silently, she slipped out of her room into the hallway and followed the sound up the stairs to the attic. Standing at the door, she opened it just a crack and looked inside. Buffy couldn't see a thing, but she heard the most awful wailing coming from the attic. The light switch was on her side of the door, so she flicked it on and peeked inside again. Still, there was nothing there, so she decided to contribute it to lack of sleep and the brisk California breezes blowing through a crack somewhere. As she got back into bed, Buffy thought in few seconds before she dropped off to sleep that the noise sounded vaguely like somebody singing.

Willow got up early the next morning and made breakfast for everyone. She was humming a song as she stood at the stove making pancakes and eggs. Xander came into the kitchen looking sleepy-eyed but happy as he wrapped his arms around Willow from behind. "Well good morning. You're up early for having had such a late night last night." Willow said, a blush rising to her cheeks. "I slept like a baby. Breakfast looks great. When can we eat?" Xander replied, stomach growling. "As soon as the pancakes are done and I get Buffy up. We have a long day of shopping ahead of us." Willow flipped the pancakes and asked "Can you make the coffee?" Xander merely nodded and walked to the coffee maker. "Pancakes are finished. I'm going to wake Buffy." Willow said cheerfully as she made her way towards the kitchen door. "You look really, really, um...good in my shirt." Xander called to her after the door had closed.

Buffy awoke to Willow standing over her. "Hey Will. What's up?" she asked as she rubbed her eyes. "Got coffee and breakfast ready in the kitchen. I thought we'd get an early start today." Willow replied. Buffy sat up and looked carefully at Willow. "You have a really happy glow today. Did you do magic last night?" she asked as she got out of bed. Willow's face turned as red as her hair. "No, well, sort of...we, I...oh man." she stuttered, turning to leave the room. "Oh my goodness, Will! You and Xander..." Buffy let her words trail off. Willow knew what she meant. "Uh huh." was her response. "Well?" Buffy asked. She quickly changed out of her pajamas into a pair of jeans and a soft yellow sweater. "It was nice. Really nice. And different. Very different." Willow said, wishing she wasn't having this conversation. Not that she didn't tell Buffy everything, but she had never "been" with a guy enough to know if it was great or not. So, she played it up the best she could and left it at that. "I'm so happy for you guys, Willow. You both deserve to be happy." Buffy said, sensing that it was an uncomfortable subject.

After breakfast, during which there was a lot of handholding, private giggles, and other love bird activities, Willow and Buffy set out to the salon for a little pampering. Xander and Giles decided to go up to the attic and check on the progress of the previous night's ritual. When they opened the attic door, a disembodied voice boomed "Well it's about bloody time. I'm going crazy up here." Giles grinned "Oh good, you're here. Now, where is your body?" he asked, looking around to see if he could find any evidence that Spike was any closer to being back in the flesh. "How am I supposed to know? All I know is that one minute I was sitting in Buffy's window, waiting for her to go to bed, and the next minute I was being dragged up here by some unseen hand. Now I'm trapped in this bloody circle and I can't leave. The least you could do is bring up a television so I can watch The Young and the bloody Restless." Spike's impatience was almost comical, but Xander knew how boring it could be in solitary confinement, so he immediately went to work tracking down a small TV for Spike to keep him company till his body arrived on the scene. Giles spent the next hour talking to Spike about his experiences thus far and trying to figure out where his body was if his soul was trapped in the attic.

Meanwhile, Buffy and Willow were emerging from the salon with new hairstyles, perfectly manicured fingernails, toenails, and eyebrows, and were on their way to do a little clothes and shoe shopping. For Buffy, it was therapy. For Willow, it was just hard. While Buffy's hair and skin tone gave her endless color options, Willow had to bear in mind that red heads can't wear just any color. It made shopping for clothes a real pain, but shoe shopping was her forte. They perused the outlet mall for a few hours, but left with a ton of stuff, and not anywhere close to being broke. When Willow suggested they have lunch, Buffy actually agreed. She admitted that she was starving, so they ate at Willow's favorite Italian place - Buffy's treat.

Giles poured over his manuscripts regarding the ritual, and saw that it sometimes took 48 hours for the body to follow after the soul is trapped in the sacred circle. He wasn't sure if he could handle another day and a half of Spike's singing, or anymore soap operas, so he decided to try to coax Spike's body with a little extra magic of his own. In the attic, Giles re-lit the candles and said a few words in plain English to entice the joining of body and soul. When he was finished, he left the candles burning. "What's that supposed to do?" Spike asked, his curiosity piqued. "Well, it's meant to bring your body to your soul a bit faster. I just hope it works." Giles said as he removed his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose as he often did when he was annoyed. "Oh, well in that case, I hope it works too. It's fun being a ghost, but I really miss the things I could do when I had a body." Spike said, closing his eyes and grinning as he thought back on all the fun and naughty things he'd done when he was alive, or, well, undead. "Spare me the details if you will. I'm going to go down for a cup of tea. Let me know if your body shows up." Giles said as he left the room.

Buffy and Willow were just driving up in the driveway when Buffy's phone rang. It was Angel, calling to ask how the research was going. "Great! Willow says we can do the ritual next month. I don't know how to thank you Angel. This means everything to me." Buffy said quietly. She hated moments like that. Well, she just hated never knowing what to say in moments like that. "I just want you to be happy - that's thanks enough." Angel replied. In truth, he was miserable, as usual, just more so knowing that Spike would be the one Buffy shared her life with instead of him. "You never cease to amaze me Angel. I gotta go." she said before hanging up. "We have a lot of bags to bring in, so let's get moving." Willow said as she put the car in park out in front of the house. They managed to lug everything in with no help from the guys, but it took a couple of trips to get it all upstairs to their bedrooms.

After a really fun game of dress-up, Willow and Buffy came downstairs to find Giles and Xander in the kitchen making dinner. Whatever it was, it smelled amazing. Xander greeted Buffy with a brotherly hug, and Willow with a very un-brotherly kiss. "Ew! You two get a room!" Buffy giggled, peeking over Giles' shoulder to get a look at the contents of the pot he was stirring. "It's beef stew, with potatoes and carrots. I found the recipe in one a cookbook awhile back, so I thought I'd try it." he said, still stirring the delicious smelling concoction. "It smells like heaven in a pot." Willow said, still wrapped up in Xander's arms. "Xander, could you possibly run up and check on that download for me?" Giles asked. Willow said "I'll do it Giles. I need something from upstairs anyway." and she left the kitchen. "So, how long till dinner?" Buffy asked Xander, walking over to the island to see what he was making. "We're just waiting on the rice and the bread. I made this pretty salad. See?" he replied proudly, tipping the bowl so Buffy could see inside.

Upstairs, Willow crept into the attic, turning on the light as she opened the door. Sitting in the middle of the circle was a very solid-looking, very naked Spike. "Oh! You're here, and you're not wearing any clothes. This could be bad." Willow said, averting her eyes. "Yeah, about the clothes...could you possibly dig me up something to wear? I don't want Buffy's first reaction to be her calling me a perv and slapping me in the face." Spike shot back, trying to keep his naughty bits covered. "I will go get something out of Xander's closet for you. Just, stay put and don't leave the attic yet. I have to get Giles. After I get you some clothes." Willow said quickly. She ran to Xander's room and picked out a pair of jeans and a button up shirt that she knew he didn't particularly like. While she was there, she also grabbed socks and boxers. Unfortunately, she didn't have a pair of shoes, but for now, at least the important parts would be clothed.

Willow unceremoniously dumped the clothes on the floor inside the sacred circle and went to get Giles. "Um, your download finished, but you need to come up and um, run the program. I didn't know how you wanted to do it." Willow said very quickly. Giles turned off the stove and simply said "Thank you Willow. I'll handle it from here. Dinner is ready, by the way, if you want to take it to the dining room." and he walked slowly out of the kitchen.

By the time he got to the attic, Spike was dressed and admiring his reflection in a dusty old mirror. Giles walked in and grinned "Ah, there you are. All in one piece I see." Spike grinned back "I feel great. I look great. This is a miracle." he said. Giles nodded "Indeed, but we must get you some clothes that fit. Xander is a bit bigger than you I see." he said, stifling a laugh. Spike really did look like he was playing dress up in his big brother's clothes. "How do you suggest I get out of here without anyone seeing me?" Spike asked. "Don't worry, I'll handle it." Giles said, pulling out his cell phone. In a matter of 3 or 4 text messages, he had Buffy and Willow busy in the kitchen while he and Xander ran up to the store for some forgotten ingredient for dessert. Giles easily sneaked Spike down the stairs and into the car without him being seen. Once in the car Xander laughed and said "For once I can honestly say I'm really glad to see you Spike. And, that shirt looks so much better on me." Spike smiled back "I never thought I'd be so happy to see you either, Xander. And yeah, you're bigger than I remembered."

"What did they need from the grocery store?" Buffy asked Willow as she slowly ladled the stew into a serving dish. Willow looked up from slicing the loaf of freshly baked bread and replied "I'm still not sure. Maybe a vanilla bean or something?" she shrugged and began piling the slices into a bread basket. Eventually, they got all of the food out onto the dining room table and got the plates, silverware, glasses, beverages, and even the candles arranged and ready for dinner. "This table looks awesome!" Willow said, giving Buffy the thumbs up. "I think we did an excellent job, and, we looked good doing it!" Buffy quipped, grinning. She missed the days when she and Dawn would set the table together back when their mom was still alive. She and Willow sat down at the table and waited for the guys to return. It wasn't long before they came back, and joined the girls, ready to eat. "Oh, I must go and um, get dessert going. You can eat without me." Giles said as he disappeared into the kitchen.

Once he was alone, he went to the back door and opened it, quietly letting Spike in. He had a bouquet of roses in his hands, and his clothes were definitely better fitting than Xander's had been. "I don't know what to say to her, Rupert" Spike said, shaking his head. "Just say whatever you feel when you see her, William" Giles replied, dropping the vanilla bean into the bottom drawer of the refrigerator. Spike sighed and for the first time in over a century, his heart was racing...


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter 4: Surprise!**_

His hands were shaking like a leaf, his heart was pounding, and his thoughts were whirling in his head, but Spike took a deep breath and stepped towards the kitchen door. "Well now, I'm going to go back to the dining room and sit down. Wait a few moments, and then join us, William." Giles said as he walked out of the kitchen. "Hi Giles! Did you get what you needed from the store?" Willow asked cheerfully. "As a matter of fact, I did. The table looks wonderful, by the way." Giles replied, dropping his napkin in his lap. When Spike didn't come out of the kitchen after a few minutes, he said "I believe I forgot something in the kitchen. I'll be right back." then he disappeared into the kitchen.

Spike was still standing there, flowers in hand, looking rather terrified. He hadn't felt this way since he was a young man, back before he'd been turned. "I-I don't know what to do, Rupert." he said "I don't know what happened to my manhood." Giles smiled and shook his head "You're just nervous, William. Come, we'll walk out together." he said, and gestured for Spike to follow him back into the dining room. Spike let Giles go first, following slowly behind him. Buffy had excused herself to visit the ladies' room, so she was not in the dining room when Giles and Spike emerged from the kitchen. Giles seated him in the chair directly across from Buffy and waited.

Buffy sat on the closed toilet seat feeling very strange. Something was different in the house. Everyone was acting weird, and to be honest, it was giving her a big old case of the wiggins. She'd been feeling all day as if she were waiting for something to happen, but she couldn't quite put her finger on exactly what it was. Now, she was hiding in the bathroom like a big chicken and it was bumming her out. Finally, she checked her reflection in the mirror, reapplied her lip gloss and walked back into the dining room. As she sat down, it took a moment for it to register that there was someone sitting across the table from her, and an extra few seconds for her to realize who it was. "Spike?" she whispered, half afraid that he was just a ghost that no one else could see. He smiled at her, and his whole face lit up "Yep." he said quietly, offering her the flowers. "I know you like roses." He was feeling like a nervous teenager and it was the most wonderful feeling in the world. Buffy smiled as tears streaked down her face. She took the flowers and laid them across her plate as she stood and ran around the table. Spike stood up and caught her in his arms. There was no kissing, none of that business. He simply held her as close as he possibly could and immersed himself in everything that was his angel, his Buffy.

She looked up into his blue eyes and said "I can feel your heartbeat." Spike just nodded and brushed a stray tendril of hair from her eyes. "I missed you." he said, grinning. "I love you" Buffy replied, oblivious to her friends looking on. "I know. I always knew." he said, kissing her forehead. "Let's eat, pet. I'm starving."

Dinner was a lively affair! Spike ate like a starving puppy, and Buffy nibbled at her food, anxious for dinner to be over so she could cuddle on the couch with Spike and watch old movies like they used to do. Giles and Willow were anxious for their chance to talk to him about his experiences while he was in "non-corporeal form", but they weren't about to take these first precious hours away from Buffy. She had carried too much guilt around for too long and it was her time now.

Xander suggested that maybe he and Willow and Giles should go catch a movie or maybe go visit the magic shop for a couple of hours to give Buffy and Spike time to catch up. "I think that's a fabulous idea Xander, I'll just get my coat." Giles said as he disappeared off into his office. "Yeah, a movie sounds great!" Willow agreed. It wasn't long before Buffy and Spike were nice and alone in the enormous manor house with nothing to do but talk.

"What was it like being sort of dead?" Buffy asked, looking into Spike's eyes as his fingers interlaced with hers. "It was like, being in a very strange dream with no chance of waking up. At first, it was just a big, white room. There were other people there, but they didn't talk to me. Then I saw Tara. She smiled at me and told me to come walk with her, so I did; and the white room became the park in Sunnydale. She told me that I wasn't dead, but that I was a 'disembodied soul' waiting to be reunited with my body, or something like that." Buffy could see that his human emotions were kind of throwing Spike for a loop so she said "I felt like a disembodied soul when you left. Actually, I have spent the last 4 months hating myself for the way I treated you. All you wanted was for me to love you, but I was so worried about what my friends thought that I shoved you away. What amazes me is that no matter how hard I pushed, you were always there to pick me up when I fell, and hold me while I cried. You never gave up on me. Then you were willing to give your own life for my wretched one. Why?" Spike took a deep breath and tilted her chin up so that he could stare into her big green eyes. "Because I knew you loved me, pet. And, in all the years I've been on this earth -both dead and un-dead-I've never met a girl who treated me like a person and not like a monster. You made me feel alive and special and needed. How could I not love you Buffy?" was his reply.

Strangely, neither of them were in a big hurry to rush up to Buffy's room for the night. They were content to cuddle and talk, with an occasional kiss thrown in the mix. They talked about everything that had happened over the last four months, and about Dawn, and how Xander and Willow were finally dating. "it's about time those two realized they were meant for each other" Spike said. "I wondered when they were going to stop hiding it myself" Buffy replied. "Oh, and now that you're human, I think I should start calling you by your given name, William." Every time she said his name, his heart jumped in his chest. He loved the way it sounded when she said it - so different from his mother, or Dru. When Buffy said it, it almost sounded reverent. "I think you're right. I can't very well put Spike on a job application." he said, laughing. "It's settled then. I love you William. I have loved you since the first time you saved my life, and I will love you till the day I die." Buffy's voice cracked a little. She was determined to redeem herself for shoving him away for so long by being the woman he needed her to be, by earning this great love that he possessed for her. Spike smiled "I have been in love with you since the first time you punched me in the face, and over the last six years, nothing has changed. I love you Buffy Anne Summers." he said, sealing it with a kiss. "I think it's time for bed." Buffy whispered, eager to spend some quality snuggle time with her boyfriend. They walked up the stairs to Buffy's room hand in hand, and for the moment, everything was right in their world.

When Angel got the call from Giles that Spike was back and human, he wasn't sure if he should be happy for Buffy or jealous that it wasn't him. He decided to just be glad that Buffy was happy and go on with his life. Giles told him that he had not seen Buffy so happy since before her mother died, and he was glad for it. "She has been so depressed since Sunnydale, Giles. I'm just happy I could help." Angel said, forcing a smile. He filled Cordelia in on all the news and she actually smiled. "Well, it's about time Buffy found her happy place, don't you think?" was all she said before sweeping out of the room in that Cordelia Chase way. She was right, as usual.

The next morning, Spike woke to sunlight streaming in through the bedroom window, and for a second, he almost panicked. When he realized he wasn't going to catch fire, he got out of bed and walked to the window. For awhile, he just stood there, basking in a warmth he hadn't enjoyed in over a century, wishing it were warmer outside so he could take Buffy to the beach.

Buffy rolled over smiling until she realized Spike wasn't there. She panicked, thinking that either it had all been another dream, or that something had gone wrong and he was gone again, maybe forever this time. She sat upright in bed and saw him standing at the window, watching the birds and smiling. Breathing a sigh of relief, she got up and joined him. "It's a beautiful morning" she said as he put his arm around her. "Yes it is. Look at all the little birds" he replied, mesmerized by the simple things in life. "They seem happy just to be alive. I know how they feel. It's a bloody miracle, Buffy. Not only am I alive, but I'm breathing, and my heart is beating, and I have you here with me." he said, the excitement rising in his voice with each word he spoke. Buffy had to agree with him. She was so happy, she thought she would explode. For the first time in months - no, years - she wasn't pasting on a happy face, it was real.


End file.
